Purpose Principle #1: Purpose Isn’t the Problem…Identity Is
Why identity is the missing link to finding your purpose
As a child, I often felt like an active observer in my own life.
I could see others clearly…their gifts, their goals, their well-planned aspirations. But I couldn’t see myself.
I remember playing with Barbie dolls and doing the “normal” things: cutting hair, changing clothes. Yet I’d find myself wondering, what’s the chemical composition of this doll’s rubber, and why is it so different from a tire or a rubber band?
That was me, curious about how things worked and how people worked.
I was different.
I didn’t understand it then, but distinction develops over time. And often, you are the last person to recognize your own.
Early Lessons
By 19, I was leading a corporate team of 15 in the financial services industry. That job became my first professional turning point. I learned quickly:
There’s a difference between leading with authority and leading with influence.
Many people want to contribute minimally but receive maximum results.
No matter how much education, experience, or results you get, your credibility will always be questioned.
When my department closed, I was offered a Finance & HR role. Suddenly, I was managing millions of dollars in warehouse credit lines and processing complex payroll before I was even old enough to legally drink.
I didn’t know it then, but this was God shaping my lane. Finance wasn’t it. I wanted to understand money, but I didn’t want to punch numbers all day. What gripped me was people, their potential, their problems, their patterns.
The Appearance of Success
By my early 20s, I had:
Bought a home
Got married
Gone back to graduate school and finished with honors
But inside, I was a ticking time bomb.
I had work before I had worth.
I became a wife before I became a woman.
I became a mother while my inner child was still shattered.
I looked whole on paper, but I was broken on the inside.
Identity Before Purpose
Here’s what I know now that I didn’t know then….when life blindsides you: career shifts, infidelity, betrayal, loss…the situation is never just about what happened. It’s about deeper needs and unmet expectations beneath the surface.
I chased accolades, but I didn’t chase becoming.
I wanted purpose, but I didn’t have a sense of identity.
And this is why Purpose Principle #1 matters:
Purpose isn’t the problem. Identity is.
Until you know who you are, you’ll confuse what you do with who you are.
Your wiring. Your gifts. Your grace. These are the breadcrumbs to purpose.
But identity is the table it all rests on.
💭 Reflection
Have you ever chased purpose, only to realize what you were really searching for was identity all along?
👉 This is the first in my Purpose Principles series. Subscribe so you don’t miss the next one, and share this with a woman who needs the reminder that her becoming matters more than her doing.